tfln

[kindofbadass]

01. Stop looking at me. I can't keep a straight face if you keep looking at me

02. It’s adorable that you think that’ll work on me.

03. We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.

04. I am in no place to make rational decisions

05. [Text her.]

Comments

@hairsprayed

[kindofbadass]

really?

wow, this is very cheap blackmail material

[from here]

[hairsprayed]

Cheap?? Alright, throw in some fries and make sure you get something for yourself.

[kindofbadass]

okay, with fries that's more reasonable

I have to get something for myself to pay you for blackmail material, though?

[hairsprayed]

Yeah, I don't want to be sitting and eating alone while you're watching me dip fries into my shake.

[kindofbadass]

Okay, I guess that would be awkward

But obviously I was going to get myself a milkshake as well, at minimum

[hairsprayed]

Perfect, it's an easy price to pay for this lovely roll of film I've got.

[kindofbadass]

it's a very easy price to pay

which three were in the tub? I didn't even bother asking

[hairsprayed]

The boys minus Will, who was civilized enough to be sitting on the counter instead.

[kindofbadass]

Aww, poor Will. he should have been able to get some weird friend bathtub cuddles too

[hairsprayed]

I think the tub would've fallen through the floor with anyone else in it. He's never seemed like the dogpile sort of kid either.

[kindofbadass]

am I awful if I laugh at that image? I would have been concerned if it had actually happened.

No, I guess not, I just always feel like... well, I guess no amount of hugs would actually make up for. Things. We should share some of the blackmail pictures with him, in a couple days.

[hairsprayed]

It totally would have been one of those things where I don't know whether to laugh or freak out.

That's a great idea, I'll make sure he gets a few copies. He's had a hard time, they all have. We have.

You're not getting me to do a big group hug though.

[kindofbadass]

I think that situation would call for both.

We have.

Oh, now I'm taking that as a challenge

@winnebagos

[kindofbadass]

okay
well for the first part I would tell him that he'll probably get further if he tells her how it made him feel when she missed those, instead of framing it... argumentatively?

for the second part, I would tell him that's ultimately probably a good sign, if they were exactly the same and had all the same favorite EVERYTHING, it would get boring, right?

[from here]

[winnebagos]

okay so tell her how he feels
and celebrate their differences
or something

do you and jonathan ever fight?

( if he were a little less drunk he would be immediately regretting this. )

[kindofbadass]

Yes, exactly - it's cliche advice, but for a reason, I think

um. yeah, sometimes we do

@augurie

[kindofbadass]

weirdly, 'it was the mall' isn't terribly comforting

[from here]

[augurie]

okay yeah that's fair

i mean it was just a mall this time

[ man, their lives are weird ]

[kindofbadass]

you're sure? nothing weird turned up in your investigation?

[ their lives are SO weird ]

[augurie]

yes nancy i'm sure, all right?

[ /exasperated ]

i think i know what a normal not-weird mall looks like

[ because he knows what an infested upside-down-gate-posing-as-a-mall looks like in comparison. ]

the pretzel was pretty good too by the way

[kindofbadass]

exactly why were you telling me you'd investigated (mentioning it late, no less) if I wasn't supposed to ask if you found anything?

oh gee, what a relief

[augurie]

i don't know, you asked what i was looking for

so i told you i was hungry

and i was near a mall

and they had pretzels

and the last time any of us had a pretzel was

[ — that mall: starcourt. it was starcourt mall. yikes. ]

so yeah it is a relief

[kindofbadass]

so the investigating bit was a load of crap, I thought so

but I am glad you didn't "investigate" without telling someone beforehand

@documentary

[kindofbadass]

no, you definitely might have me beat, you've better at just being nice than me and you're calmer, too. at minimum, we're tied

The rest of them might have us both beat, yeah. Except Mike. Why are you comparing yourself to basically everybody?

[from here]

[documentary]

You're nice. You're so nice but you don't put up with anyone's shit too. That's a good thing. And I'm a pretend calm. Not right now. I'm really chill right now. Very relaxed. Tied is okay.

No. You're fantastic. They're all fantastic, except Mike, but nobody beats you.
I don't know. I was just thinking.

[kindofbadass]

I like tied, that feels most right.

You're fantastic too, though. It's not sad thinking, right? Just very relaxed and mind wandering thinking?

[documentary]

I still think you’re better.

Thinking about what?

[ a second after: ]

Oh. Yeah. No. Very relaxed. Are you relaxed?

[kindofbadass]

I still think you're better, so we're even.

I'm not as relaxed as you are, but I'm not tense so I think that counts.

@pinch_hitter

[kindofbadass]

It's a little concerning that you immediately just leaned into the idea that you've joined a cult